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Florida Man arrested for beating teen with Taco Bell Burrito

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you want burrito, you want a F$#king burrito!

Florida man, Erik Brown, 36, was arrested after he threw a half-pound Taco Bell Burrito Supreme at a 16-year-old boy’s face.  According to the 16-year-old boy (refer to as Ray), a heated argument escalated between Erik Brown, Ray, and Ray’s mother regarding the controversial issue surrounding why so much weird stuff happens in Florida. Things got heated and Brown abruptly grabbed a Burrito Supreme and threw it with lethal force nailing Ray’s Face. BAM!!

Port St. Lucie Forensic Police were first on the scene and determined the burrito was thrown by the suspect, Brown’s prints match the ones on the tortilla, and were able to measure the force, which was ruled lethal, by meticulous analysis of splatter patterns of cheese, sauce and meat chunks that were all over the victim’s clothes and face. When asked why he did it, Brown responded, “that little punk was disrespectful to his mother and had cursed at the woman, plus I’m the one who bought these burritos, these were a gift, Florida is not that weird man!”

And Brown wasn’t done yet, while being booked in county jail he told who ever was listening at the time that he would “take care” of the Ray and once released he “was going to get knocked out, I am going to get the biggest KFC Double Down and blast that kid!”

To be continued…

For a more accurate telling of the story go here: The Smoking Gun

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