What did Jeffrey Dahmer ask Lorena Bobbit?
“Gonna eat that?”
At least that was the joke in the early 1990s. Lorena Bobbitt, of course, was the preeminent penis slayer of our modern times. However, the act of snipping the phallus for revenge is, ahem, a FIRMLY entrenched eye-for-an-eye solution to both real and perceived misjustices. So let us take a look at some of the other recent cases of cutting off penises.
2009 – Donguan, China – Xie Mouman was none to thrilled about her husband’s proposed threesome. Dong removal ensued, and now numerous songs in Dongguan reference .
2011 – Garden Grove, CA – Catherine Kieu Becker cut off her husband’s pecker, blamed it on a home-wrecker, and stuck it in a garbage disposal which, for sake of prose, was hopefully manufactured by Black & Decker.
2017 – Tamil Nadu, India – A woman identified only as Sarasu argued with husband about which one of them were having extra-marital affairs. Naturally, off comes the peen! She then carefully placed the severed member in her purse for safekeeping, then headed to her parents house to unwind. She was also charged with “using filthy language”.
2017 – Yeosu, South Korea – Extra-marital affairs aren’t the only offenses that result in a good old fashioned penis severing. One angry Korean woman removed her husband’s John Thomas and flushed it down the toilet because he preferred whacking off balls and counting strokes. Yes, we are talking about spending too much time playing golf. Perhaps the wife of Donald Trump, Grand Emperor of the United States, will become inspired.
Remember ladies and gentleman, severing the penis with a sharp object isn’t the only way to get revenge. Another unconventional method might be to scald it with boiling water, as one angry Colombiana did.